apples and oranges

"Sometimes you have apples but sometimes you would really like oranges."

I love food. And I don't mean I love food like some people love a good chick flick or a cold drink in summer time, I mean I love food.  I love food because I am an internalizer. I think deeply and care passionately about everyone and every good cause or broken heart or injustice. Everything and everyone has meaning to me. It can be exhausting but most days I enjoy life and it keeps me in line with the life and the God I love.  Sometimes though, its a pain.

Its this passion for people and internalizing that makes this whole pornography issue so difficult for me to empathize with. I cannot fathom looking at a naked human being and not wonder about them, not care about them.

This is why it was so hard for me to hear this answer in response to the question , "seriously, tell me, why do you look at other women when I have given myself to you completely?"

"Well, the honest truth is that sometimes you have apples but you want oranges."

What? Apples and oranges. Really? We are talking about marriage. You know, one of the most sacred promises you make to God and another human being.

But then I remind myself that I am trying to rationalize an addiction with an addict who doesn't believe he has a problem.

It still hurts to hear it though. And I'm insulted on behalf of every apple out there.  I love you apples. I love food.